Delayed gratification is optional?
TL;DR
Delayed gratification is the act of waiting to see the positive benefit/outcome after a time delay
It’s natural to experience delayed gratification in adult life. But it’s also optional at times to experience it.
If you’re mentally more resilient you can delay your gratification for a lot longer
If you don’t like the reason you are doing it, then change it, because that reason is your ‘why’ to go for that delayed gratification. Hence, optional
Mental resilience like this plant
If you’re reading this, you’re probably curious on figuring out when delayed gratification is at play or not. Is it worth staying to hopefully see the reward or just jumping ship for the next thing? The thing is it starts with your mindset, because even if whatever situation you are in physically is not great, if you’re mentally not resilient then you should consider leaving the situation first. If not, then you have the strength to wait just see it out a bit, but that doesn’t mean you won’t ever leave the situation, you just gather more information first.
What is it?
Delayed gratification is the act of waiting to see the positive benefit/outcome after a time delay. For whatever reason you have to wait before reaping the rewards of your labour/experience, and that is a very normal part of adulting.
There are so many times in adulthood where delayed gratification happens;
You work for a pay that isn’t in your account the second you deliver the work, but actually after 4 weeks of labour
You train for a marathon to then get the medal at the end
Maybe you even stayed in a job that was a horrible experience, but the skills you got from it, meant that your next job was even better
It’s natural to experience delayed gratification in adult life. But it’s also optional at times to experience it.
Mental resilience
Is the ability to keep your drive when things get tough (not an official definition).
Having a stronger resilience, means you can withstand more strain and issues around you, and come back from it, relatively unscathed. If you’re mentally more resilient you can delay your gratification for a lot longer too.
For instance, I am shook at people who do marathons. I would love a medal for just running 100 m (and not at the fastest pace). Marathon runners have a mental resilience that is incredibly high (in comparison to me). To be able to run any distance more than 5km, without giving up, is admirable. That level of delayed gratification, to get a medal, and put your body through the strain to get the runners high, is insane.
Whereas my mental resilience when it comes to knowing there is a Chilli Heatwave Doritos in my cupboard, is low. The delayed gratification is non-existent. It’s definitely more instant gratification, choosing to pick up Doritos over my meal prep. And I don’t mean the small packets, it’s the share size bag.
You can use your mental resilience to decide whether or not it’s worth seeking the delayed gratification or going for the instant gratification. It’s not just the reward to consider, but the consequence. Such as indulging in a share pack of crisps, would be great for the instant gratification, but won’t be great as an evening meal, since I will be hungry before bedtime. Whereas the runners high would feel great if you delayed the gratification, but if your body feels too tired to run right now, exhausting it on a run might not be advised.
Optional
You may think delayed gratification is something you can’t opt out of, but there are cases where you can leave for instant gratification or exchange it for a different type of delayed gratification. Sometimes, I feel like people endure something because they have ‘no choice’ when actually you do have choice on which gratification you get, you’re just choosing a particular one for some reason. So if you don’t like the reason you are doing it, then change it, because that reason is your ‘why’ to go for that delayed gratification. Hence, optional.
Hear me out:
I have posted before about my dissatisfaction with my job. I was in a role, that didn’t align with me in terms of career growth and personal growth. So, my options were either move immediately or wait and see. It got a bit rough since the relationship between myself and my manager was strained, due to clashing personalities. I really wanted to get out, since it wasn’t a great environment either.
So, I decided I would move jobs. I mentioned to other colleagues, and most of them said “hey, wait it out”. So, I did. And 14 months later, my manager is no longer my manager. Which means that the remaining time in my job was more tolerable to at least embrace the news skillset and experience. Delayed gratification. Even though I have delayed the gratification of the environment, I still know the job does not align with me. So, whilst I continue to look for opportunities that align to me (delaying the gratification of a satisfying career), I will work in my current role, which has an improved environment.
Now I could’ve left the job sooner, because the environment wasn’t great. And experience is experience, so just moving around somewhere else is not a bad shout. But I delayed the gratification of experiencing a job with an environment that was nice, and the nice environment came to me.
In this instance, the instant gratification route would be quitting all together. I would instantly be happier, but then I would have to deal with consequences of my actions.
Another option would’ve been to change jobs, but it would be choosing a different type of delayed gratification. Since I would have to wait to establish the work is something more aligned to me and if the environment was good enough for me to thrive.
