This is something I have seen a lot on my social media, as we finished 2025 and started 2026. And I think it’s a great way to rationalise how small a lot of concerns are in the grand scheme of things.

How do I get more comfortable with rejection and stop limiting what’s available to me?

I am not trying to dismiss anyone here, it’s just that, we can sometimes get stuck on our own personal planets, forgetting that we actually live on one giant planet. Which is in an even bigger universe and who knows what’s beyond that. So, being worrying about someone saying ‘no’ or rejecting you is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. Here me out:

What is rejection therapy

The google AI tool summarises it as: “where you intentionally seek out rejection in everyday situations (like asking for a discount or a silly favour) to desensitize yourself to the fear of "no," build confidence, and overcome social anxiety, based on principles of exposure therapy”

Well summarised to me. So, what does it mean to do this?

The idea is that each time you put yourself into a situation, you might get rejected and you might not.

If you do get rejected - then you will realise that the rejection did not lead to the world imploding.

If you don’t get rejected - then you gain this understanding of how much you limit yourself with the fear of rejection.

It’s a win-win to put yourself through this, as long as you handle it nicely. (i.e. don’t throw a tantrum after the rejection, it’s not cool).

The face of someone removing the limitations from the fear of rejection

How to have a go at rejection therapy

As with anything, there are stages that you can go through and each stage gets more and more difficult, but the reward (if you don’t get rejected) is even bigger.

1. Easy - individual

Start off getting rejected from simple things, like online shopping. Before you click pay now, google a few discount codes for the shop and try them out. Sometimes they work, and you get a cheaper price, other times they don’t, and that’s fine you were prepared to spend that amount anyways.

The reason this is individual is because you are not getting rejected in front of others, other than yourself. It’s not public.

2. Medium – 1:1

Now you add a person to reject you. The easier version of this is via email, where keeping up with a social situation has more flexibility with timing than a call or face to face conversation. Maybe request to join a forum that is exclusive, and someone has to read a mini application to see if you are worthy. They will have to send you a response, and that is the therapy.

The next level to this would be a phone call or face to face conversation, that’s not in public.

3. Hard – 1:1 public

Now there are more people around, but you are still getting rejected one on one. Such as asking for a discount at the till, or when you are ordering a McDonald’s you ask for a free portion of chips. They might be confused and most likely will reject you, but you never know.

4. Extra Hard – public

I don’t think everyone will do this one, and that’s ok, because this one is just extreme. But thing Britain’s Got talent, X factor and The Traitors. These are very public rejections, and normally they are very public because it’s broadcasted. Not everyone is going to do this, which is fine, but for the ultra-rejection fanatics, this is an option.

My rejection therapy moments

Car insurance

Every year I renew mine and my family’s car insurance. We are on a multicar policy, so it is a 4 figure bill every year. I stick with my provider, because they are the best for the services I need, so instead of shopping around for a better deal, I call them up and ask them if they have any discounts.

So far, the highest reduction I have received is £600 off my total bill. I like to think most of it is a loyalty discount. And I will take every penny the discount will offer.

ARC reading

ARC – Advanced reader Copy

I love to read, and I want to expand my reading repertoire, by reading books from independent authors, rather than only going for the ‘mainstream’ authors. Normally people who read for authors, are popular ‘influencers’ in the book space on social media. I have a small social media account I started in my teens, that I am re-vamping for now. And I use that IG handle to pitch myself to be chosen by authors to receive an early copy of their book, to provide a review to help them with their release. So far, I have applied for 3 authors, and each has accepted me. And yet, I thought I needed a bigger following and an aesthetic already set on my page.

Now I get some free books, and I love to review them on GoodReads. My bank account is happier for me not spending money on new books, whilst I get introduced to independent authors.

My career

My progression (or lack thereof) is all dependant on rejection therapy. In 2022, I applied for a series of jobs that I didn’t feel remotely qualified for, and bagged interviews for them. I did not reach the point of being offered the job, but I made it to actually getting interviews with only 18 months of industry experience. That’s crazy!!

Since then, I have not tried again to stretch myself like that, but I should. I have hopes for a promotion this year, and that means I have to apply for jobs again. My career always feels like a scary one, because I know I am dependent on the money I earn to survive right now, and I am used to the money I receive (defo a scarcity mindset there).

TL;DR

- Rejection therapy is necessary

- It either trains your brain into realising how chill it is to be rejected, or it opens up doors that your fear of rejection was limiting you from opening

- There are several levels to rejection therapy, from Easy to Extra hard, will you test them out this year?

How to do rejection therapy