What’s it like being an adult?
TL;DR
Honestly, being an adult is grim. And that’s the nicest way I can put it.
Wow, there is nothing more to existing now. It’s just this till the end
Life is what you make of it
Main post
I was wondering this throughout different points in my childhood, especially as I got into secondary school, and saw the bigger kids leave to go into the big world. I also remember being told random answers as a kid like “You work your whole life, so don’t wish that time away now” and “There is nothing else other than work”, which I didn’t comprehend that much as a kid. But now as an adult, if I was asked this question how would I answer it?
Being an adult is not as black and white and as life seems to the younger child. A child’s main problems in life, tend to stem from their parents not letting them eat ice cream for breakfast, and forcing them to go to bed when they don’t want. Becoming an adult seems like the best thing ever, because the adults are in control of their time, money and freedom – according to a kid’s point of view.
But I am guessing you as the reader, are not under the age of 18, and are probably just reading to see if someone can corroborate your experience. In which in that case, thanks for clicking on my post.
How can I answer this without sounding like I need mental health support?
My opinion
Honestly, being an adult is grim. And that’s the nicest way I can put it.
It’s as if you turn 18, and anyone and everyone wants to be in your business. The tax collectors want your money; the occasional people get called for jury duty. Spam mail is also possible in physical form as well as in email. Not only that, but your family also comes with its own lore and everyone wants to know when you’re dating, getting married and subjecting a new life to growing up to face this reality.
After the first couple of years in a job, you get a moment of clarity. An epiphany if you will. Where you’re doing a normal mundane thing and your train of thought goes “Wow, there is nothing more to existing now. It’s just this till the end” – and then a disgusting sense of existential dread fills you up, because what do you mean this is it? This is what I have been excited to grow up to see?
Now don’t get me, there are ways to reduce that sinking feeling, but those ways do not remove the absolution that is the reality. We were too naïve to appreciate the freedom of responsibilities as a child. Whilst we were hoping for a dinner with a variety of opportunities and experiences to be available to us, they gave us a side plate with some beige items on it, and said “Make what you want out of it”. It’s a grim reality, and I write more about it in my last post here.
So, what’s it like being an adult
Ignoring the current timeline, geopolitical status and the fact that the planet is trying to slow roast us, being an adult is pretty cool, when I make the most of my time.
Sadly it’s true, “Life is what you make of it”, and if you choose to keep your life boring and mundane (to your standards), then you will be bored out of your mind, and it won’t change. So, I throw myself into hobbies that bring variety and accentuate my life. Whether I am reading, exercising, doing content for the blog or organisations I support or socialising, I fill my life with things that make me happy.
I am very happy in my solitude, but occasionally I am open to saying ‘hi’ to other human beings and seeing things beyond the 4 walls of my house. Doing either is a great way to feel connection to myself and others. My friendships did not magically come out of nowhere though; I had to put in the work to create and maintain them. I have written a post about making friendships and a village, so I recommend checking them out, because 3 years on from putting in the effort, I have a social life where I have plans booked months in advanced, trips being planned and catch ups to look forward to. Keeping on top of my social calendar is something I try to prioritise, because a village can’t stay alive without sustenance, and I have to supply that for my village.
My hobbies, such as content creating, reading and exercising are things that make my time in solitude not feel lonely. I am alone, quite a lot of my time, but I never feel lonely. Not because there are people with me (I always prefer to do most things solo), but I never feel lonely because I spend my alone time doing things I enjoy. Albeit, I am also an introvert, so I do really enjoy my own company, naturally, but having hobbies where I can spend time with my own thoughts, means I can spend time reflecting on me. Giving myself that time, means I let my thoughts wander and evaluate myself, actions and thoughts in my own space. Which is how I can look back in retrospect and feel grateful for what I have now, the mistakes made in the past and figure out what I want to make of my future.
Filling up the remainder of my time out of work, with these things makes being an adult a lot more tolerable experience. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I am so happy and fulfilled in my life that I don’t want this to end, as I think there will always be a bit of “Oh god, this is it until my timeline comes to an end”. But at least I don’t spend all my time thinking about it, and that’s better than living in a constant state of existential dread.
This was WAY better than being at work
The issue with being young is that you haven’t experienced what being an adult is like. So, whilst every child has a different upbringing and experiences, they are still children at the time. Even if they had to mature quicker than others. So, trying to tell them what life is like as an adult, they are not able to understand it like an adult. Growing up, I knew about investing in the stock market. I didn’t invest any money into stocks and shares until I was 21, yet I had about 10 years of awareness beforehand. Kids will struggle to conceptualise the whole thing, so tell them what you want really. Give them hope or crush their dreams, they probably won’t start listening until they are in their 20s and are really appreciating what reality is.
