I can wholeheartedly admit that I have never always been this confident. I am here writing about some aspects of my life, showcasing the real, the embarrassing, wrapped up in humour, as if my life is a little tv show. But how did I find this confidence in myself? And I’m sure if you’re reading this, you would like to know how you can be confident in yourself.

I love the confidence I have been embracing within

The art of having confidence in yourself

To be confident it doesn’t take being able to share anything and everything about yourself, especially online. It’s actually being able to have faith in yourself, your abilities and what you bring within your personality. You do not have be anything new or stand out. Confidence is seen by how you hold yourself, especially with accountability to your values.

Confidence is an art. What we do with art is we look at it, interpret it with our own eyes. Determine if we like it or not, and that outcome decides whether you admire the art, or walk to the next one.

Some people show their confidence by being noticeable and grabbing your attention instantly. You notice these people as soon as you walk into a room, and they show their confidence with pride. Others have a subtle air of confidence about them. They don’t draw your attention immediately, but as you get near them, you’re able to appreciate the confidence they exude. We present our confidence differently, and we attract and are attracted to different confidence types.

I typically stay away from the instant attention-grabbing types. Because I feel like if I was to be close to them, before I am ready, I would be in the position where I am easily noticed. They grab everyone’s attention so quickly, and I’m not comfortable with that, at all. However, when I am comfortable around these confident types, I feel perfectly capable to accept the additional attention that would come with being around them.

The subtle confidence types are where I would stick myself in (ironic right?). The kind of people who know their confidence level in their abilities. They just don’t have the attention-grabbing effect. You may have to look in the back corner for those types. But in those corners, they have an aura of confidence that still draws you to them. Maybe it’s the way they make eye contact, or gently smile, but something pulls you to them.

I have clearly identified 2 groups, but you can say there are more groups, with 1 group of people not have any confidence in themselves.

How do you find confidence in yourself?

Start off easy, and find things you like to do, or things you have been previously praised for by others. Best to not acknowledge academic praise, because you kind of need something you can be consistent at (unless you intend to be education forever, in which knock yourself out).

Go out and do those things. And if you don’t want to do them alone, go with a friend or a confidant, and experience it. Since it’s something you like to do or are already capable of in the basics, it builds your confidence, and helps you feel like you’re able to try something new.

Once you have built up that confidence to try something new, channel that self-confidence through the first struggles. Normally you’ll find out, you’re not struggling as much as you thought you would. This will make you feel better, and boost your confidence to keep trying, even with the mistakes.

Why do you need confidence in yourself

Because you don’t need confidence to do something you are good at. You need the confidence to be able to:

- Step out of your comfort zone, every once in a while.

- Put yourself forward for something.

- Make the most out of your life.

You need the confidence, because you won’t always have people supporting your idea, and you need to be confident in yourself to keep going. How do you think I have managed to keep this blog going? At one point, it was just me, and then I found out people read and commented on my blog. That extra confidence boost was necessary. But in those times where I didn’t have the external validation, the confidence in myself, drove me the whole time.

How do you show your confidence in yourself

Well, that depends on which group you fall into and how you want to show your confidence. Because, how your presentation of confidence is perceived by others, is how you present it. If you want to try something, that feels uncomfortable to you, but you think is the “right” thing, then the people will know. And they will feel uncomfortable too. But if you have faith in how you present your confidence, then people will see that version, and think you are amazingly confident.

I have friends and have previously known people who shout it out to the rooftops, that they are confident. And they make it known when they walk into a room. Whether it’s by being noticeable by their dress/demeanour/personality, speaking up first, or taking initiative and getting recognised for it. For me, I show my confidence in my body language, how I hold myself in my public scenes, and how I talk in close conversations with people.

One time I was talking to an apprentice at my work, and she was asking for just general life advice. Since in comparison to her, I was 25 and she was 17, so I clearly had ‘lived’ a lot. At the end of our chat, she said ‘Oh my goodness, I wish I could be as confident as you are, because how are you so put together’. Trust me at 25, I did not feel ‘put together’. But in her eyes, I was. And her words were touching, because that year, I wanted people to see me the way I saw me. I see myself as weird, wacky, kind, genuine, honest and confident. So, because I embrace those natural parts of me, I came across as put together, even though, I have flaws just as much as the next person.

Confident enough, that I much prefer to share goofy pics of me, rather than polished posed ones

Summary

Accepting yourself and being true to the values that matter to you, is the step towards being confident in yourself. That paired with a gentle introduction to finding your confidence, and knowing how your confidence presents itself, will help you come across as being very confident in yourself.

TL;DR

- Confidence is an art.

- You don’t need confidence to do something you are good at. You need the confidence to be able to:

o Step out of your comfort zone, every once in a while.

o Put yourself forward for something.

o Make the most out of your life.

- Have faith in how you present your confidence, then people will see that version, and think you are amazingly confident.

How to gain confidence in yourself?