Reflection: The calm after the storm
Normally you hear about the calm before the storm, especially as a sense of foreshadowing, before something unexpected happens. But this post is about the calm you feel after a busy moment/period of time. And for me, I have finally come down from the rush of the wedding.
Honestly, that wedding went as smooth as it could’ve been in my opinion. I genuinely think everyone had such an amazing time, and the weather was gorgeous (since it was the start of the hottest week of the year). The wedding series was intense, but the best thing I could’ve done to capture what the 18 months leading up to it were. But 4 weeks on from the wedding, how is it now?
The face of a head bridesmaid who can finally relax
I got sick
One of the worst colds/flu I have had in a good few years. It has been a rough 3 weeks trying to get back to my usual adulting life, whilst my body was fighting its own war internally. This week is the first week I am feeling back to normal. I have gone to the gym, booked my pole classes and I went to my first boxing class only last week.
One thing about the mind and body being heavily occupied with something, is that it usually puts off a lot of issues due to adrenaline (even without consciously knowing it). When the wedding finally happened, and I took a well-deserved break for a couple days, that’s when my body was at it’s weakest, and some lucky microbe took advantage of that.
Reflection
Upon reflection, I could’ve set my immune system up to be a lot stronger in the fight against the infection. I know my sleep schedule was absolutely destroyed in the weeks leading up to the wedding. The last time I had slept more than 7 hours was definitely in March. On top of that, I normally try to drink lemon and ginger tea as a preventative measure at least once very other day. In May, I drank it no more than twice in the whole month. So, my immune system had 0 chance, and with how that cold wiped me, it was very clear I didn’t look after myself as much as I thought I was.
I changed my calendar slowly
Obviously, the month of May was heavily engrossed in wedding stuff. I knew that completely stopping after the wedding day, would throw me off the momentum, so I made sure to keep my calendar busy in those first two weeks post wedding, and gradually change it. This meant I wasn’t hit with that weird feeling of like “what do I do with myself now”, especially since this wasn’t my wedding, so I didn’t have “thank you” cards, and gifts, and wonderful belated messages from people.
Thankfully, the thing with adulting is that just because one thing is happening in your life and occupying all that space, doesn’t mean the world stops to let you experience that only. So, whilst I got to be in church for my friend’s wedding, in the weeks after it, I had to go to church to say goodbye to other people in my life. Those moments did not take away from me experiencing the wedding, but they did take my attention after the wedding. On top of that, my actual day job decided to increase my mental load, so 40 hrs of my week were definitely busy too.
Reflection
This was a good choice for me, since I have felt that sense of emptiness, when I have dedicated time to something and when it’s over, I have nowhere to channel the pre-existing energy. It feels slightly sad and anticlimactic, so having a calendar that was not as busy as the build up to the wedding, but occupying enough to keep me from feeling that weirdness was very helpful for me. The only issues was that the busy calendar plus my illness made the first 2 weeks post wedding a living hell. (lol)
I reconnected with my social life
For this to make sense, I have to highlight the wedding was not the only thing occupying my time, because yet again just because my brain focussed on it, doesn’t mean the universe let me focus on it, only. So, there were other things going on in my life that I had to balance with the wedding.
I had prewarned and reminded all of my friends (not involved in the wedding) that I was MIA for May. They understood my weekend availability was non-existent, and week nights were reserved for either myself or for important life matters. That being said, I have since reconnected with all the friendships I had temporarily paused. My summer calendar is starting to fill up with a variety of people and activities and I am very excited for it.
Reflection
Honestly, my bank won’t be happy with me, but my mental health (the part that strives and loves the connections I have made with each of these people I call friends) is buzzing. Taking the time to inform my friends ahead of the wedding, meant that they didn’t need to view me as flaky or distant. As a sane adult who wants to have strong communication with her friends, I communicated with them, to ensure we were on the same page with our friendship. Honestly, I feel like some people should really work on their communication skills, because it’s really not that hard, and most people are very understanding (all my friends were understanding).
I am restructuring my time and life
The first 5 months of 2026 were focussed on the wedding. It was my thoughts, my dreams, my notes apps and my why to survive. Now, my life is mine again, I am not Rue “The head bridesmaid and very hands on wedding planner”, I am now Rue “…”. I am now wondering how to fill up that title for me, and I can rebrand however I like.
Reflection
With 6 months left of the year (and having recovered) there are things I want to work on:
My ability to make money online (I made £1.65 at the start of the year on my mailing list, so it’s doable, I just need to figure out how to scale it)
Get my content out there (I have nearly reached 200 and 100 followers on IG and TikTok, respectively. I am so close it’s amazing, but I think I can actually create content and enjoy it as a hobby)
My health is my priority (the sleep schedule is the thing I am slacking on the most. I want to get back to 8 hours average per night. I know it’s doable with my lifestyle, as long as I keep away from my phone screen when I am in bed)
Continue to Live, Laugh, Love (I say this sarcastically, because the world right now is not something I can Live Laugh Love right now. But if people can manifest and affirm their glow ups in life, I can convince myself to try and Live Laugh Love my way through this life lol)
Head bridesmaid Rue is clocked off!
TL;DR
After experiencing a busy period (like planning and prepping for a wedding), there is a calm after the rush, and I took 4 weeks to experience that calm
I also got really ill in that time, so it definitely was 4 weeks, because I wasn’t recovered 2 weeks post wedding lol
Just because my content was very wedding focussed, doesn’t mean the wedding was the only thing taking up most of my time, and that is the beauty (and distressing part) of adulting. Balancing all stages of life as it hits you simultaneously.
The wedding was an absolute blast, and it was amazing to be a part of it. But now, it’s time for me to channel my energy back into my life
