You can’t be your authentic self at work
Unless you’re going to tell me, that your authentic self completely aligns to the rules of ‘professionalism’ that we all subconsciously adhere to in the workplace, then you are not authentic at work. And THAT’S OK! That’s the reality for all of us. Let me elaborate:
This is not an “I hate work” post, or a dig at my job, company, role or life. It’s just a reality, that I feel isn’t properly communicated, because adulting is riddled with truths that we are not told, but are left to figure out and realise as we grow up.
We have EDI policies and all that, that encourage us that the workplace is open, accepting and appreciates our authentic “unique” selves. But there is a difference between what that training and policies cover, and what people say as ‘bringing your authentic self’. While yes, your authentic self can be expressed in how you present externally (the way you dress, make up, hairstyles etc), there is the aspect about your personality.
Can I tone done the ultra professionalism to just bring a little bit more me into the job?
Think about it:
How do you act and how are you perceived when you are your most comfortable at expressing yourself? And do you genuinely bring that into the corporate workspace? If you do, that is wonderful and I am happy that you get to spend 40 hours a week, without having to pacify or hide yourself because of the environment.
I am speaking for the corporate world, purely because it’s ruthless, fast-paced and normally people are standing on each other, trying to get up the ladder. It’s intense and it has needed policies to come in to allow equity and equality standards to be raised. Do you think corporate would need that, if we were able to be our authentic selves?
I get it, the system might fall apart if everyone just embraced their natural selves. But I think deeper than that: “Why was this system created in the first place?” It’s probably something to do with, the best way to yield maximum output, and minimal backlash from more the “lower classes”. But since industries are built on this system, it’s inevitable we won’t all get to be our authentic selves in work. So, it’s counterintuitive for companies to say that they do or that they provide a “workplace that encourages this behaviour”.
Do you know my authentic self?
I am both incredibly bubbly and energetic whilst also being a very guarded, distant and aloof introverted person. It tends to fluctuate, just based on my energy and the environment. I can’t openly fluctuate in the office, because I would come across as ‘hot and cold’. So, I can’t be authentic at work, and that’s fine. But it’s taken me 4 years to realise that I should not have that expectation about my work life.
Again, it’s ok, this is no hate to my job, it’s pretty clear the system the corporate world is built on is the flawed part. I can’t blame something that is part of the machine.
So, I can’t bring my full authentic self, but what can I do?
Give yourself the time to be yourself out of work – really switch off and let yourself exist fully, because 40 hours is a lot to hide yourself.
You can still bring some of it, you just need to pick and choose correctly what you show and how you show it. There are rules of professionalism that we all follow, so you need to keep that in mind on which coworkers see that.
Saying profanities in work is normally frowned upon, but in closer circles of people that you would trust was work friends, profanities can be ok. You just know not to being up profanities around management, unless they bring it to you first. The preexisting people, especially senior members of a team, tend to set the trend on what is professionalism in the workplace.
I have already mentioned, I am both bubbly and distant, and for me that truly depends on the people I’m around. Some people do take offense to not being liked, and it is an unfortunate consequence that they believe everyone should like them. Because we don’t have to, and the reason I keep my distance is because for some reason, I get a ‘vibe’ that I don’t feel comfortable being around. So why would I subject myself to it? If I am in an environment where the people just make me feel that ‘vibe’, then I will not feel comfortable to fluctuate to the bubbly state. And that’s ok, I can accept that’s a reality in that situation.
Not every situation will be ideal to make you feel comfortable to be your authentic self, and that’s fine. The key is to have people in work, regardless of whether they are in your team or in other areas, that you can take moments during the day to be yourself. Because hiding yourself for a prolonged amount of time is not healthy, and it’s incredibly exhausting (especially in the desk based corporate jobs).
TL;DR
- It’s really hard to be your authentic self in work, and that’s a reality most of us in employment face. And it’s ok.
- The system the corporate world is built on, makes it harder to feel comfortable to be ourselves – so it is what it is.
- What can you do to deal with it:
Assess how preexisting and senior members in the team conduct themselves
You can show little glimpses of yourself occasionally based off what you see around you
Find people (whether in or out your team) to give you some reprieve during the workday
