Do you ever just get that feeling in your chest? Either it feels like your heart just disappears and you feel the hole it left, or that burning sensation? Yeah…that’s something anxiety related. I get it sometimes. There is something or someone at work who just doesn’t seem to know when to stop prodding you. Or something in your personal life, maybe someone said something that really made you question your reality.

Either way, there are times in life when we do experience anxiety, and it’s not a bad thing. It means you’re human, and you’re currently going through it. So how do you respond to the spiralling thoughts causing this physical response?

Compartmentalising

Haha, my manager told me to do this when I had a mild response to my work. Little did they know, I have been compartmentalising my whole life. And btw (by the way) if you’re manager is saying this to you, instead of taking some time to help you rationalise it, take that as a sign to start looking elsewhere for employment. I am currently battling on how long I want to stay around that kind of manager. But I digress.

Compartmentalising definition

Compartmentalising is the ability to separate things – (paraphrased Google’s definition). In this instance, you are separating the emotions, stress and anxiety, from the thoughts that are causing it, (whatever is bothering you).

Case study

For example, every couple of months, I dive deep into my finances. I am aware that I will be subjected to some financial responsibilities, such as sending money back to my family. What causes me anxiety over my finances, is that I am still building up the savings to protect myself, whilst having £0 in savings to help my family.

Like many immigrant children, I have watched my parents send money back to family. My parents were fairly open with me on their spending, so as an adult, I would much prefer to have a pot of cash to look after myself, and a pot of cash designated for the family. I have been fortunate, that I have not been needed to send my own cash, since my parents are still making large contributions. But I can’t avoid my future (technically I can but I would have to cut everyone off, and I’m not ready for that yet). The future is unpredictable, and my anxiety flares when I realise, I have barely set myself up, let alone started to prepare to provide support to others. I can spiral for days if I’m not careful.

How I compartmentalise

I have realised that spiralling does not help me as much as it used to. Getting older means my heart is going to eventually get weaker, and it working hard when I spiral, is not a great use of my beats. So, I rationalise by having the following conversation with myself:

- “I am feeling anxious/stressed right now. And I acknowledge that. Why am I feeling like this?” – I then will answer that question. I don’t have enough money to a family emergency right now. I haven’t reached the financial safety net for myself, let alone, have anything in savings, to support my family when necessary.

- “Ok, the cause is identified, let’s stores that in a box somewhere. Now, what would be the best solution to reduce this anxiety?” – And this is a rational answer, nothing too fantasy. I need to find a way to increase my income, whether my streams or getting promoted. But I don’t want to rely on 1 income, so I need to find a way to make more money on the side. And I will use that cash to build my savings.

Having ‘stored away’ the anxious emotions, I can sit and focus on solutions only. And the emotions don’t control my thoughts at this point. This is pure rational thinking (for me), which feels like me doing a sudoku or a maths quiz.

- “Great. What is something I can do right now or within the next week, to start making progress to reduce my anxiety?” – Setting a short-term goal, makes me feel less helpless. I can get started on it ASAP, and even though it’s not meant to yield a result straight away, it does drastically calm me down. There are couple ways I could try to monetise what I already have. I could research ways to make money from ads on the blog or try to join the TikTok creator fund or monetise on YouTube views. Or I start up a different side hustle, not attached to my blog, like a print on design of my #WomeninSTEM jumper or making awareness ribbons for less popular causes.

This step breaks down the solution into smaller pieces, which I further ‘store’ in separate compartments, so then the ideas don’t get mixed up or easily tangled. By the time a week after comes, I have either calmed down so much, that I don’t see why I was freaking out in the first place, or I have made progress to continue with something.

- “Awesome. Is there anything else I should think about in terms of short-term solutions to calm my anxiety/stress?” – Sometimes it’s ‘yes’, but it can also be ‘no’ and not cause any further spiralling. In this case, no I have reasonable options available to me, that are suitable to focus on and make me feel like I am making progress. I’ll just pick the one of least resistance, which tends to be a side hustle, since monetising aspects of my blog is something, I am actively trying. So, it’s better for me to try something new on the side.

- “Last thing. I now need to calm my racing heart, so let’s do some breathing exercises and go for a walk.” – Breathing exercises are good for grounding. I use the Headspace app to guide me through exercises and meditations, designed to help regain control of my body, thoughts and emotions. Taking a walk removes me from the stress inducing environment and offers fresh air to breathe and mobility to redistribute those stress hormones, that were released in my bloodstream (Not scientifically backed fact).

Conclusion

In a matter of time, I will have forgotten why the issue caused such an extreme emotional response, in the first place which is what I want. I can’t just tell myself “Oh calm down it’s not that big of a deal”, because that doesn’t work for me. So, using compartmentalising as a rational healthy tool (and you know not the toxic way where you’re so emotionally detached that you feel indifferent to everything), is a very handy way for me to cope with things that cause me emotional turmoil.

TL;DR

- Compartmentalising is the ability to separate things.

- There are times in life when we do experience anxiety, and it’s not a bad thing

- I rationalise by having a conversation with myself.

- In a matter of time, I will have forgotten why the issue caused such an extreme emotional response, in the first place which is what I want.

- Using compartmentalising as a rational healthy tool is a very handy way for me to cope

Anxiety and Adulting: Figuring out compartmentalising