Anxiety and Adulting: What happens after?

Last time I talked about how when I get anxious about something, I allow myself to feel it but not let it take over my life by spiralling. So, in the event of the stressor leaving your life what, should you expect to happen after? Let me tell you.

After – Step 1

You feel relief. Like real relief. The weight just leaves your shoulders, and you genuinely feel like your lungs have the freedom to take in air, at their maximum capacity again. I read a lot of books and authors always describe this moment as “I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding”. When you have never experienced a stress that causes some form of anxiety, then you won’t understand that sentence, but that is how it feels. Like you didn’t realise you were that stressed, until the stress goes and you feel everything inside you release and relax.

It’s a glorious feeling.

At this point in time, I try to do some productive things. Maybe clean, meal prep (if I haven’t already) write a blog post, or other content creation things. The release can bring new inspiration that was stomped on by stress. What I avoid to do is make plans with people, because I don’t know how I will feel a few hours or days from then.

After - Step 2

This happens about 24 hours after, the exhaustion hits. And it’s not like how you feel tired when you don’t sleep enough. It’s a lethargic feeling, where moving feels like you’re dragging your muscles through thick sludge. Your brain feels slow, maybe even foggy. You just want to sit and do nothing, indefinitely. Your body feels like a dead weight.

This is the reason why I don’t make plans. This exhaustion hits, and it stays indefinitely. It’s your body finally accepting the removal of the stressor. This is why you should take a break after experiencing something intense. You may think you are ok, but your body just needs a break. I always think my body as a separate entity to my consciousness. So, just because I don’t feel or think I’m stressed, doesn’t mean my body isn’t experiencing it.

After - Step 3

Whilst your body is recovering, you will only be able to do the bare minimum. If you have set routines, they should occur naturally, and any add-ons will be the parts that slip. Give yourself grace. (I have written about creating routines that can help you in these kinds of moments, here).

For me, the blog slips. This post came out a week late, because last week I was recovering from stress. I was able to keep posting on social media, which thankfully I built that habit. I try to have multiple posts ready in advanced, but that’s not always the case. So, instead of writing 2 posts on a weekend, it took me 2 weeks to finish this one. It is what it is. My content also wasn’t to the quality I wanted, but I chose consistency for the algorithm, over quality.

But away from my “failures”, I still worked out every day whether it was the gym, boxing or walks. I even tried pole recently. My fitness habits are so ingrained in me, it feels wrong to not do a minimum of 45 minutes (according to my apple watch). I also still went to work, showered everyday, and had 3-4 meals a day (thanks to my meal prep habits).

This meant instead of spending time cooking, doing blog posts and being busy with my time. I got to sit down and let my brain fall silent. I let my body do the bare minimum movement, so it could recover.

So, what happens after?

I’ll admit, this is my process of recovering. It won’t be the same for everyone, but you will experience a similar behaviour pattern. I used to be so annoyed with myself for being so useless when the stressor was removed. And when I mentioned it to my therapist and they said it’s because my body will be trying to recover, even though I felt like I was recovered. It was eye opening.

Now whenever I feel that relief feeling (step 1), I prepare myself for the recovery. Sometimes, I only need a couple of days. Other times I have needed weeks. I never know how long, as it depends on how stressed my body was. But I give myself the space, to recover, and slowly start reintroducing my add-ons to my routines, so I can get back to myself.

TL;DR

·       Once the stress/anxiety is gone, you and your body need time to recover

·       Having routines means you don’t fall behind on the things you prioritise.

·       It’s normal to want to have a break, so give yourself and your body some grace. (You went through a lot)